Prompt from LizzieLu

27 07 2008

LizzieLu gave me this earlier and challenged me to identify with someone and write about it.

This is from a book written in 1998 by Judy Blume called Summer Sisters and is basically about a life-long friendship between a girl named “Vix” and another named “Caitlin”:

Maia and Paisley are wrong. Caitln isn’t someone to get over. She’s someone to come to terms with, the way you have to come to terms with your parents, your siblings. You can’t deny they ever happened. You can’t deny you ever loved them, love them still, even if loving them causes you pain.

I’ve pondered it a bit. Actually, I’ve concluded that this relates to anyone that you love and from whom, for some reason, that love is not reciprocated. Or perhaps that love is bad for you in some way, like a partner who is physically abusive. You still love them, but you know, hopefully, that you have to leave.

I suppose the person who most springs to mind is my brother who I have loved dearly and I suppose, still love, although this love does cause me pain. However, as time goes by, I wonder to what you ‘attach’ that love, on what is it based, why does it exist? We have very little contact and I have no real place in his life which I accept and try to remain a ‘presence’ in his life in case some day he needs me. But is this just my need to be needed? Or my refusal to give up hope that although I let him fly away, that he may one day return?  How can you love someone who may have changed, who has undoubtably changed, and who if I were now to spend a prolonged period of time with, I may realise is a complete jerk? 

So I figure, you love someone, you accept that that love is not reciprocated or cannot be or is unhealthy and you step away. Let the person go or create your own space. And if its meant to be, then it will return. And if not, one day you realise that it simply doesn’t hurt any more and that your heart is free.

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2 responses

27 07 2008
Jessica

I do not remember the last time I said “Hello” so I figured to do so now. I am glad you are holding up. My body is tired, tired of sitting or standing in place, but it is 5:41 in the morning here so l cannot run around or make noise. Not too much longer.

Take care.

27 07 2008
Andrew

Wow! That was an unexpected turn and quite moving. Many things come to my mind – I had this quote

“Love all of the people, all of the time” which I thought was a direct Bill Hicks quote but on search it looks like a summary. Here’s what I found:

“We gotta come to some new ideas about life folks ok? I’m not being blase about abortion, it might be a real issue, it might not, doesn’t matter to me. What matters is that if you believe in the sanctity of life then you believe it for life of all ages. That’s what I hate about this child-worship syndrome going on. “Save the children! They’re killing children! How many children were at Waco? They’re killing children!” What does that mean? They reach a certain age and they’re off your fucking love-list? Fuck your children, if that’s the way you think then fuck you too. You either love all people of all ages or you shut the fuck up.”

“It’s just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.”

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